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Oreo Reveals New Genderless OreX Cookies (babylonbee.com) 02/27/2021 01:52 PM

EAST HANOVER, NJ—In a long-overdue move, Nabisco has announced they will be dropping the problematic "o" at the end of Oreo and rebranding under the more inclusive and gender-neutral term "OreX." 

The post Oreo Reveals New Genderless OreX Cookies appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Man Waits To Form Opinion On All Major Issues Until Corporate Brands Weigh In (babylonbee.com) 02/26/2021 06:47 PM

CHINO, CA—Local man Brad Zwygart says he no longer can form opinions of his own, as he always waits to see what major corporate brands have to say on any given issue before he decides what he believes.

The post Man Waits To Form Opinion On All Major Issues Until Corporate Brands Weigh In appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Nation Looks Forward To Glorious Future Where Every Business In Town Is Owned By Walmart Or Amazon (babylonbee.com) 02/26/2021 06:01 PM

U.S.—The entire country is reportedly looking forward to a glorious future in which all culture and economic activity in society is owned by one unstoppable, faceless, international corporation such as Walmart or Amazon. 

The post Nation Looks Forward To Glorious Future Where Every Business In Town Is Owned By Walmart Or Amazon appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Absentminded Joe Biden Accidentally Mails Stimulus Checks To Defense Contractors Instead Of Americans (babylonbee.com) 02/26/2021 05:52 PM

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Joe Biden is getting on in years. He's no spring chicken anymore. Well, that means that once in a while he has a senior moment, and yesterday was no exception. Biden suddenly realized that he had accidentally mailed nearly a trillion dollars in stimulus money to defense contractors instead of sending the checks to Americans as promised.

The post Absentminded Joe Biden Accidentally Mails Stimulus Checks To Defense Contractors Instead Of Americans appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

The Bee Explains: The Equality Act (babylonbee.com) 02/26/2021 05:08 PM

What's this Equality Act you've been hearing about? Is it the end of American liberty as we know it? Is it a brave and bold step forward for human rights? Will it help you save money on your car insurance? Some of these questions will be answered in our handy explainer:

The post The Bee Explains: The Equality Act appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Is Your Cat Actually Satan? 9 Things To Look For (babylonbee.com) 02/26/2021 02:45 PM

If you’re like most people, you’re probably worried your cat is a spawn from hell. We consulted our Bibles and prayed really hard, and God revealed to us these hints that your cat is actually Satan himself. Here are the signs to look for:

The post Is Your Cat Actually Satan? 9 Things To Look For appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Three Republicans Thrown Into Fiery Furnace For Not Bowing Down To Trump Statue (babylonbee.com) 02/26/2021 01:24 PM

ORLANDO, FL—Three conservative CPAC attendees refused to bow to the golden Trump statue at the conference, sources confirmed today. Those at the conference had been instructed to bow down and worship when Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A." played on the PA system.

The post Three Republicans Thrown Into Fiery Furnace For Not Bowing Down To Trump Statue appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Proud Obama Awards His Nobel Peace Prize To Biden For Bombing Syria (babylonbee.com) 02/26/2021 11:33 AM

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Joe Biden has in his first one hundred days hit a milestone of every American presidency -- bombing the Middle East. This has been met with praise from former President Barack Obama, who, in a symbolic gesture, handed over his Nobel Peace Prize to Biden.

The post Proud Obama Awards His Nobel Peace Prize To Biden For Bombing Syria appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Middle Easterners Begin Painting Transgender Flag Colors On Doorposts To Avoid Biden Drone Strikes (babylonbee.com) 02/26/2021 11:02 AM

SYRIA—Facing the coming wrath of President Biden, Middle Easterners turned to the only possible means of escape: painting their doorposts with the colors of the transgender flag.

The post Middle Easterners Begin Painting Transgender Flag Colors On Doorposts To Avoid Biden Drone Strikes appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

Biden Clarifies That Stimulus Checks Are 'Just An Idea' (babylonbee.com) 02/25/2021 10:03 PM

WASHINGTON, D.C.—As more and more Americans start wondering where the $2,000 stimulus checks Joe Biden promised are, especially as he's now decided to start meddling in Syria, Biden issued a statement today clarifying that the stimulus checks were "just an idea."

The post Biden Clarifies That Stimulus Checks Are 'Just An Idea' appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

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